"Expand your mind and you live; expand your brain and you die a very painful death." -- Deepak, Jr.

 

Did you ever try to put an air compressor hose in one ear and pull the trigger?  If so, you’d know exactly what I’m talking about.  That shit really hurts!  On the other hand, if you read stuff like “The Onion,” “The New Yorker,” and “Penthouse,” your mind (which is this metaphysical, hypothetical, creepy thing) will expand in ill-defined ways, so that you don’t shit your pants and suck on your mother’s teats forever.