‎"Take care of your feet and your stomach; everything else will be just fine." -- Deepak, Jr.

 

Once I was stranded in the Australian outback.  I had a pint of whiskey and a piece of cardboard left over from my hitchhiker sign.  On one side it said, “Student to Melbourne”; on the other side it said, “Fuck you.”  Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was at a party, surrounded by naked women, and they all loved my cargo pants with the zillion pockets.  I reached into one of them and pulled out a mint condition LP of “Hot Rocks.”  This was great, until I realized I was about to fall out of the 42^nd floor of some building in Dubai.  I strapped the cardboard on my feet and jumped, guzzling the whiskey on the way down.  When I woke up, I felt great!