‎"Along the road to success, watch out for free range cattle." -- Deepak, Jr.

 

Once, I was on the road to success.  I was next in line to become CEO of a major (herein, unidentified) organic beet farm.  I was waiting for the old fart who started the company to die of pesticide poisoning.  It was so slow in coming.  The old guy wouldn’t kick it.  He just kept playing golf, drinking great wine and eating stuffed sole.  One day, I was driving up the mile-long driveway to the headquarters.  Fall was in the air and golden aspen leaves were flying like a flock of bats through the slanted sunlight (I could have used this as an excuse).  There he was, the bastard, finishing up his 12-mile morning run.  He was on the right side of the road.  (Everyone with half a brain knows that you’re supposed to run on the left side of the road).  I swerved to run over the guy and, at the last second, his prize bull stepped into the road.  We ate steaks that night.  Then, I was fired.