"Today is the first day of every other first day of the beginning of the first day of the rest of the first days of your first life." -- Deepak, Jr.

 

Did you need someone to tell you that you are an absolute loser?  Isn’t it comforting to realize that you’ve wasted every damned day of your life and that you have an opportunity to start that destructive process all over again?  Just go to Gap, try on some pants that are too tight, and stare at yourself in the three-way mirrors.  Now, isn’t that fun?