‎"If you listen closely to your body, you will hear a lot of gas." -- Deepak, Jr.

 

I just love it, in the morning, when I’m about to go down on my wife, and her lower intestines let out a long, slow, growl.  I know something’s gonna happen.  Listen, we fart and belch.  It’s a good thing.  Otherwise, we would be floating around like balloons.  Feed me beans, corn, rice, apples, potatoes, cheese, salami, crab, oats, milk, jello, cardboard…I don’t care, I’ll take your head off in the morning.