Senior moments...

‎"On the shopping list of your life, don't forget the paper towels." -- Deepak, Jr.

 

Back when I was sitting alone in the metaphysical and metaphorical desert, I longed for paper towels.  But, the damned things are like stamps.  It used to be that you could only buy stamps at a post office.  Now, they are sold at grocery stores, of all places.  This means you never get to know your local postmaster.  You can also purchase stamps online, for two or three times the price of the ones you get at the grocery store.  The thing about stamps and grocery stores is that there is no logical connection.  I don’t go to the store to mail my letters.  In fact, I hardly ever mail letters.  I just pay bills by mail, steadfastly refusing to broadcast my financial information across the globe, electronically.  So, I go in for a bottle of wine and some stamps.  I walk out with a bottle of wine.

Paper towels (or “towel paper,” as we call it in the Gobi desert) should not be in a grocery store.  I used to walk for miles, in my loin cloth, to the nearest oasis, for some imported yak milk and a couple of nuts and, almost always, a roll of paper towels.  Guess what!  I’d walk all the way back to my yoga mat and realize I’d forgotten the damned paper towels!  Is there anything more infuriating?  I THINK NOT!